Story Comments

Please post any errors or additional notes in comments.

* Tim spoke about the "rules" of the world a lot, for example the rule that if you go into the road you will die.
* They thought that it was a bit predicatable. Right when you saw them you knew one of them was going to get hit. I thought that he would figure it out. When the other girl popped up I thought that was a nice suprise.
* Her setting up the rube-goldberg was a bit predictable. They thought it was outside of the world that was set up.
* Rube-goldberg needs to be shortcutted.
* Really liked the killing of the flower.
* They gave an idea of a more manly armadillo getting killed and the protagonist decides to go after that guy.
* Need more shots to establish him getting sick of new girlfriend.
* Spend more time developing their relationship in the beginning.
* Do not foreshadow the road in the beginning
* They suggested we set up an expectation and the play off of that, for example: Look left, look right and an airplane hits her
* Really liked that we chose a simple story and sets, and are making it more character driven
* If you think that characters can't get hurt then there is no story. That is why Kryptonite exists. Incredibles had to have vulnerability.
* Play on the tragedy, play on the surprises.
* Needs to be consequences of dying on the road.
* Rube-goldberg is not as motivated. If she can why doesn't she just shove him into the road.
* One idea for the problem of not being able to touch that they had was if she can make herself come visible for just a flash.
* The rest of the story is about the consequences of her being a ghost. That is the central thing in the story.
* Maybe she can't touch anything. You can tell she is trying to kill him but she can't do it. When she figures out how to touch him that is when she realizes she doesn't want to kill him.